Si Kras RRR

Sino ang korni? Ako.
Sino ang baduy? Ako din.
Sino ang hopeless romantic? Ako pa din.

Sa sobrang kakornihan ko, kung ano ano ang naiisip ko. Pano ba naman, ang hina mong makagets. Ang bagal mong bumasa... Ang dami ng senyales, parang wala pa rin sayo. Minsan hindi ko maintindihan kung alin ang dapat kong unahin, turuan kang bumasa o gawin ang sarili kong reader friendly.

" Prove that Y > X ".
" ang kras (crush) ko sa opisina ay may letrang R"
" ang kras ko ay may katangkaran"
" ang kras ko ay may nobya (dati)"
" You cannot shit in your own backyard"

Ang problema pa sayo, para kang babae. Kailangan may tamang timing ang mga banat sayo. Kung nagkataon lang na hindi ka ganyan, diniretso na kita.

Wag kang mag-alala, pagmamasdan pa kita at pagmumunian ng dalawang buwan. Marahil ay sapat na ang panahong yon para malaman ko kung itutuloy ko pa tong kabaduyan ko o hindi. Sa ibang salita, kikilatisin muna kita... Mahilig ako sa mga bad boys, sa mga taken na at mayayabang na tao. Hindi kaya, naging kakaiba ka kaya kita nagustuhan? Hmmm... Pwede. Abangan ang susunod na kabanata.

Hehe... baka naman pwede mo ring sabihing "Likes this" kapag nabasa mo to.

What is it like to be part of the so called "Jerkdom"?

Okay... so after writing my previous blog, I was left thinking, why do women like jerks? Why did I like a player? Why a lot of girls would rather go gaga over a jerk than date a nice guy?

Hmmm... according to my research, I fell under a jerk spell. A jerk spell is when we are seduced by a man's charm, confidence and passion. And in my case, I was taken away by the following:
The fact that he dresses like a bad boy yet he smells really good.
He has tattoos but who cares, it looks well with his weird hairstyle.
He loves to make faces but he still looks good despite of it.
He plays guitar for a band named Allecia which I think is great.
He's very artsy yet he has this cono personality.
He has a band, yet he works as a graphic artist for a hotel company.

Everything about him is just so cool. He doesn't own his wheels but then I say so what? as long as he's willing pay for the cab, I can excuse him from my standards. Oh well, who wouldn't fall for this over confident guy. Ohhh? Haha! And now, I just realized my stupidities as I backread the reasons why I liked this guy. I was really under a spell. I never saw those disguises: his confidence as arrogance, his charm for being a player and his passion for being given so much attention as if the world revolves around him.

So even if I knew right from the start that this guy is a certified player and I swear to myself that I will not be stupid when it comes to love, why did I fall for him? Why did I even consider being his second girlfriend?

Reason 1: He calls me every night to talk about shallow, cheesy things... how he loves to see me everyday, how he was mesmerized the first time he saw me in that company meeting and how he notices me whenever he hears me giggle.
Reason 2: He texts me in the morning, afternoon, evening and actually every hour (despite the fact that he sees me everyday) just to tell me that he misses me.
Reason 3: He tells me that he loves my long, straight and shiny hair (this was the time when my hair was still rebonded... haha!)
Reason 4: He tells me that he likes looking at my legs from afar.
Reason 5: He tells me how good I am whenever I get acknowledged during meetings.
Reason 6: He gets mad whenever he sees boys staring at me. (I find it cute!)
Reason 7: He gets mad, really mad... whenever I can't reply to his messages or answer his call. My friends call him possessive but during that time I think that is a sign of someone protective.
Reason 8: He tries to control me by dictating me what to wear. Though I hate it.. I love the fact that I have to argue with him and have small fights.
Reason 9: When I was ask in a bad situation in front of my boss, he whispers, " Don't worry, I am here to back you up. Nothing bad will happen to you."

I still have a bunch more reasons for liking him, my fingers are just getting tired of typing. Hehe...

Okay... despite the fact that most of the reasons I mentioned can be easily done by other men, I love liking him because of the thrill of being with him. I love the rush of adrenaline whenever we are at the office and we try to hide that secret of ours (Although sometimes, I have this feeling that he's making our relationship obvious in front of our officemates). I love the chase and the danger of being caught by his real girlfriend. I am addicted to the excitement that the danger of getting hurt once I fall in love brings. I am hooked in my ultimate goal... my ultimate challenge... the chance of getting to play a player. My dream which never came true. I never got to play him, instead I was the one played. Why? obviously I easily fell in the trap. I fell in love.

Now that we know the reasons why we fall for a jerk... as well as the symptoms and causes of loving a player... Next question is, how to avoid a player? How to get over a player?
Well, I don't know. Once I have the answers, rest assured that I will also post it here.

reminds me

Mula kagabi hanggang ngayon di ako mapakali. Pano ba naman? lahat na lang ng bagay na makita at mabasa ko... naaalala kita.

Kagabi, nagbasa ulit ako ng blog na Strange Love Addictions. At habang binabasa ko ang bawat linya sa blog na iyon, nahihirapan akong huminga. Ayun! unti unting nabubuo sa utak ko na nagkakatotoo na nga ang mga naiisip kong pwedeng mangyari o maaaring nangyayari na nga nung mga oras na magkasama tayo.

Grrr... parang gusto kong magmura kagabi. Pati pala sya nainlove na sayo. hayyy... alam mo bang kaya ko lang naman binabasa ang mga blogs nya ay para makakuha ng idea kung anong nangyayari dyan simula nung panahong nawala ako. At ayun tama nga ako, gusto ka na niya. Marahil yun ang dahilan kung kaya noon pa man, malayo na ang loob nya saken... dahil may pagtingin sya sayo. Ang dahilan kung bakit di nya ko matingnan sa mata at kung bakit bigla na lang syang nagsusuot ng mga bestida at nagsuot ng mga sapatos na may takong. Pakiramdam ko, ginagaya nya ko sa pag-aakalang magugustuhan mo sya. Sa pag-aakalang magkakainteres ka sa kanya ng higit pa sa kaibigan. Haha!

Marahil nahigitan pa nya ko ngayon dahil mukhang mapagbigay sya. Bibigay nya sayo lahat. Di ka nya matitikis... Kaya ka nyang sabayan sa pagyoyosi, kaya nyang mag-astang lalaki para sayo, kaya ka nyang halikan sa harap ng maraming tao at marahil mas kaya nyang maging number 2 sa buhay mo. Mga bagay na hindi ko kayang ibigay.

Minahal din naman kita, alam mo ba yun? Kaya lang may mga kundisyon ka. Alam kong kakayanin ko ang mga kundisyon na yun... hindi ko nga lang masasabi kung hanggang kailan... Dahil sa simula pa lang mahirap na. Maliban sa pangalawa lang ako sa legal mong nobya, nandyan pa ang nakikita kong harapang pagpapansin ng mga babae sa paligid mo. At syempre sabi mo nga, lalake ka... mahirap tumanggi sa palay.

Kabadtrip ka talaga kahit kelan...
Kabadtrip ka dahil hanggang ngayon di kita matanggal sa facebook at ym friends ko. Nahihirapan man ako, gusto kong malaman ang nangyayari sayo.
Kabadtrip ka dahil pinayagan kong magaing tagahanga ako ng banda mo sa facebook.
Kabadtrip ka dahil pati ang site ng unang tayo mong negosyo, binibisita ko.
Kabadtrip ka dahil nung mapanood ko ang paghingi ng paumanhin ni Tigerwoods dahil sa pangangaliwa nya, naalala kita. Parang ikaw lang sya...
Kabadtrip ka dahil kahit wala na tayo, tanga pa rin ako dahil sayo.

Thank goodness I'm single!

Thursday night was the usual catching up time with my old friends, chatting with highschool classmates and old colleagues. And for the nth time, I have the usual series of questions (I call it Mau's standard catching up questions):

old friend: how are you???
me: i'm good.. how bout you?
old friend: i'm fine... how's your work? where are you working?
me: it's great... i'm working in blah...blah... blah...
old friend: that's good. how's your lovelife? may boyfriend ka na???

the question of me having a boyfriend was never out in my friend's first 3 questions. Haha! For the past 21 years of my existence, I never gave them a "Yes" answer. And it always boils down to the next question. Bakit??? What's your typical guy ba?

I'm no lesbian nor a man hater. I enjoy their company... and in my mind I have always wanted to get married someday. I am not an ugly duckling who doesn't attract anybody. Though I am pretty sure that I am not your average girl.

Mind you, because of the pressure these people are giving me, i decided to give it a try. Hehe... oh well... it feels like a task for me more than a happy feeling when I'm in that relationship. He was one of my officemates who was currently courting me that time. I tried... I did my best to enjoy and make myself believe that the relationship is worth keeping for. But during those time that I was in it... it felt like hell. Haha! The relationship lasted for 6 looonnnggg days... I am not sure but perhaps right now, my one and only ex hates me much. The last time we saw each other, he didn't even give me a smile nor a nod.

Well... sometimes I think, I am the problem. Though I never really accepted that as a fact. Haha! I just find it stupid how people find it weird for someone like me or like any other girls in their early twentys who have never been in a serious relationship. They think being in a relationship is a need... I find it as a problem.