Kasalanan ng "That Thing Called Tadhana"

Bigla kong naalala na may blog nga pala ko tungkol sa buhay pag-ibig.  Napakaganda pa man din ng titulo nito, "Happy Single Life". Sabi ko kase sa sarili ko 6 years ago, "I am alone but I am not lonely".

Ngayong 26 na ko, single pa rin ako at hindi pa rin naiinlove... Hindi ko na masabing "I am not lonely" dahil natatakot na kong mawala sa kalendaryo.

Hindi naman ganito ang nararamdaman ko dati hanggang sa napanood ko ang "That thing called tadhana". Pagkatapos kong mapanood ang pelikula, naramdaman ko na ang dami-dami kong hindi nararanasan sa mundo. Biglang gusto kong mapana ni kupido. Yung maiinlove talaga ako ng todo... handa akong masaktan, umiyak at mawala sa sarili. Yung pakiramdam na kahit na may sakit na kasama yung pagiging inlove, ok lang kase at least naranasan mong umibig.

Iniisip ko kung may mali ba sa ginagawa ko kaya hindi tumitibok ang puso ko... Nang-entertain naman ako sa mga nagtangkang lumigaw sa ken, wala lang talagang swak. Sabi kase ng mga kaibigan kong masaya sa mga karelasyon nila, dapat may "spark"... sad to say, wala naman akong naramdamang ganun.

Madami na rin naman akong ginawa para mahanap si Mr. Right.

(1) Nakasali na ko ng dalawang speed dating.
(2) Pumayag naman ako sa mga blind dates na inayos ng mga kaibigan ko.
(3) Umakyat ako ng Pulag para maghanap ng potential partner sa mga kasama kong mountaineers (noon kase mabilis makuha ang atensyon ko ng mga lalaking may magandang balikat at braso).
(4) At ang pinakahuli kong ginawa ngayong Feb 14, sumali ako sa Singles Road Trip. Ano yun? Yun yung weekend trip na eksklusibo para sa mga solo flight sa pag-ibig. Mahilig akong maglakwatsa kaya pinush ko at gumora kahit di ko alam kung san kami pupunta. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, at least puro single ang kasama... malamang may trabaho din sila dahil may pambayad silang P4500.. at ang pinakaimportante sa lahat, mahilig silang maglakwatsa at sigurado akong wala silang takot umitim o madumihan. Pagkatapos ng lakwatsa, di naman ako nadismaya sa mga sumali sa lakad, pasok naman sila sa minimum requirements. Kaya lang wala pa ring "spark"...

Hay pag-ibig... Kelan ka ba kakatok? Pwedeng pakibilisan? Naiinip na kase ako.

Theme Song ng Bigo

Theme Song ng 2013

Tumatakbo

by Mojofly

laging bigo

laging sawi sa pag-ibig

minamalas, oh kay sakit

may balat nga ba ako sa pwet?

mabuti pa ang tindera sa aming kanto

nakakainggit

tl..ang sweet nila ng kanyang nobyo

gusto ko lang maranasang umibig

tamaan ni kupido

gusto ko lang maranasan ang langit

tumibok muli ang puso ko

Tumatakbo ang oras naiiwan na ako

ng panahon

Di na nagbago bawat araw

pare-pareho

parang kahapon

tumakabo ang oras

May birthday cake ka nga

ngunit wala namang kandila

may christmas tree na malupet

wala naman dekorasyong pansabit

sadyang ganyan ang aking buhay

walang kasing tamlay

ayoko sanang tumandang nag-iisa

tatanggapin na lang ba

ang malupit na tadhana

o kaya'y tatanggapin na lang

na ako'y sadyang hindi pinagpala

tigilan na ang drama

punasan na ang luha

Because February is Dating Month

Valentines is again fast approaching. I only have 6 days left to find the perfect date for that Special Day. For the past 24 years of my existence, I have celebrated Hearts day being single and I am perfectly fine with it. I never felt alone since I am surrounded by friends and I always have an event or activity to attend to.

However, as more and more friends starts to get married, and as I gain more godchildren every year, I can feel the pressure of being left out. A number of friends are already engaged, I have attended a number of bridal showers and I am getting a number of invitation for baby showers. And so I end up wondering, I may be missing something wonderful in my life... I am left behind.

People around me are also wondering how come I am still single. I occasionally get date invitations but on those very few that I accepted, most of it failed. I only had a boyfriend once, but it only lasted for 6 days which is the reason why I do not wanna count it at all. I prefer to tell people that I am one of those people who had No Boyfriend Since Birth.

Some friends told me that I should go out more, live my life and meet new people outside the circle that I belong to. This is what I have exactly done on the first week of February. I promised to be open to dating on this love month hoping that I'd finally find someone worth loving. Naks!!!

From February 1 to February 4, I joined a group of Mountain Climbers in the trek going to the top of Mt. Pulag. I only knew one of the members so the 29 other climbers I am going with are complete strangers. On this climb, I got to reach the highest peak of Luzon  and got to see the sea of clouds. But other than that, I got nothing except body pains and bruises. None of the participants were interesting enough for me. I got a couple of men who showed interest on me but I just found out later that both are already in a relationship.

On February 6, I was supposed to have a date with the friend of my office mate. It was cancelled ahead of time due to an event that has to be attended by the guy and also because I am still not rested enough to go out; my face  has wind burns and my legs are still very tired to wear heels due to the prior climb.

However, that afternoon, I got a skype message from a former client who is based in Cebu. He's currently in Manila and he asked me out for dinner. Despite my reason above of not being well rested, I didn't hesitate to say YES. The guy was a really good catch, he's 27 years old, single, general manager and heir of that  hotel in his city. I hurried to leave the office as soon as the clock strike 6pm. I need all the time I can get to change, freshen up and be beautiful on that night. Bad news is while on my way home, he sent me an SMS asking me if we can reschedule it since something important came up. I said ok, but then I was disappointed.

The following day, I decided to spend the evening on this bar in Makati to watch the gig of my client turned friend. He invited me on his gig and I decided to invite office mates as I don't feel comfortable going there alone. Office mates are telling me that I should just date this client since he gives me special attention and they think I am doing the same thing for him. I'm trying to ignore the idea since I am 3 inches taller than this guy when I am on flats. But I can't help it, this guy is the cutest, nicest and most likable among all the men around me. Haha!

Anyway, I'll be posting more info about my series of dates for the month of Feb. I have 2 more scheduled dates next week and we'll see if something exciting will happen.

Love... love... love! :)

Those Old Men

I've been quite occupied by a lot of things (not romantically though) over the past months that I wasn't able to write anything or have deep thoughts about love, relationship or anything that has to do with romance.

Well, what's my status? Still single and I'm enjoying it far more than before. I get to travel, dine, go out and mingle with different people. With everything that I currently have, new friends, fabulous job, cool family and more money to spend, what more can I ask for?

Flings? I'm still in the process of determining what I really want. My strong attraction and fascination to older men confuses me. As I mingle more and know the stories of a handful people, I started finding guys who are at least 10 years older than me to be very sexy and interesting. But let's face the fact, these men are probably married, engaged or at the very least, single but with kids.

Finding someone who'll be with me long term is like finding a needle in a mountain of hay. With the personality I have projected to the public (the timid, kind, and very conservative me), getting into these type of men is currently a big "No! No!" to me. My sane mind is telling me to look after those boys at my age who would most likely love to watch movies, play basketball and go to the gym. My inner self tells me though that I'd enjoy it if my man is older.

23 and still single

It's been a long time since I managed to blog about my lovelife. Well, that's because I have nothing to tell. My last entry about LM who's not getting in touch with me was my last encounter about the word "love". And to count the days, weeks or months when I last experienced romance, the giggle, the sweet dreams, and cheesyness in life means counting my stay on my new work. That's roughly 7 months.

It's no longer updated if I'll say that I am 22 because I have gained another year. Yes, I am already 23 and as always, I am still single. :)

Right now, I am listening to Arms by Christina Perrie and I won't give up by Jason Mraz. These are my new favorites and I just realized that I have no one to dedicate the songs.

Dear Future Lover, if you're already around... please give me a sign.

By the way, if anybody is asking if I'm happy being single, Yes I am. I may not yet be complete, but I am happy.

No message from you

I didn't get any message for the past couple of days. No calls, no emails, no SMS, no chat. It means I have to move on. Just in time for my new work which just started today. :)

Please get in touch with me in the next couple of days

Dear LM,

Why are you making it so hard for me? I cant help but wonder whether you're just playing me around or not. Im trying hard not to expect anything from you.

I was hoping to see you. I was hoping to talk to you and hug you before I start my new job. I look forward to hear your tips, your recommended dos and don'ts. You just don't know how much I trust you. You don't know how much I am dying to laugh with you. I got used of seeing you around, talking to you, having coffee with you, having dinner with you, watching movies with you. And yet, it feels that you're so far away. It feels that i don't matter anymore.

I've been waiting for a text message asking for a coffee date but I didn't get it from you. I got it from another friend. I was hoping for a videoke invitation but I received it from my new barkadas. I was hoping that you would call me because I am thinking that you also long to hear my voice; but then, this new close friend of mine, calls me more often and talks to me longer on the phone. You even made me wait for an hour or two during meet ups. And what hurts more is when you weren't able to come on my last dinner with the team.

Please don't tell me that I just misinterpreted everything because I felt the sincerity in your heart during those days. Anyway, I wish I would hear from you in the next couple of days. Because if not I guess that means I have to completely ignore your face that's popping on my mind.