Monday, July 18, 2011
No message from you
I didn't get any message for the past couple of days. No calls, no emails, no SMS, no chat. It means I have to move on. Just in time for my new work which just started today. :)
Friday, July 15, 2011
Please get in touch with me in the next couple of days
Dear LM,
Why are you making it so hard for me? I cant help but wonder whether you're just playing me around or not. Im trying hard not to expect anything from you.
I was hoping to see you. I was hoping to talk to you and hug you before I start my new job. I look forward to hear your tips, your recommended dos and don'ts. You just don't know how much I trust you. You don't know how much I am dying to laugh with you. I got used of seeing you around, talking to you, having coffee with you, having dinner with you, watching movies with you. And yet, it feels that you're so far away. It feels that i don't matter anymore.
I've been waiting for a text message asking for a coffee date but I didn't get it from you. I got it from another friend. I was hoping for a videoke invitation but I received it from my new barkadas. I was hoping that you would call me because I am thinking that you also long to hear my voice; but then, this new close friend of mine, calls me more often and talks to me longer on the phone. You even made me wait for an hour or two during meet ups. And what hurts more is when you weren't able to come on my last dinner with the team.
Please don't tell me that I just misinterpreted everything because I felt the sincerity in your heart during those days. Anyway, I wish I would hear from you in the next couple of days. Because if not I guess that means I have to completely ignore your face that's popping on my mind.
Why are you making it so hard for me? I cant help but wonder whether you're just playing me around or not. Im trying hard not to expect anything from you.
I was hoping to see you. I was hoping to talk to you and hug you before I start my new job. I look forward to hear your tips, your recommended dos and don'ts. You just don't know how much I trust you. You don't know how much I am dying to laugh with you. I got used of seeing you around, talking to you, having coffee with you, having dinner with you, watching movies with you. And yet, it feels that you're so far away. It feels that i don't matter anymore.
I've been waiting for a text message asking for a coffee date but I didn't get it from you. I got it from another friend. I was hoping for a videoke invitation but I received it from my new barkadas. I was hoping that you would call me because I am thinking that you also long to hear my voice; but then, this new close friend of mine, calls me more often and talks to me longer on the phone. You even made me wait for an hour or two during meet ups. And what hurts more is when you weren't able to come on my last dinner with the team.
Please don't tell me that I just misinterpreted everything because I felt the sincerity in your heart during those days. Anyway, I wish I would hear from you in the next couple of days. Because if not I guess that means I have to completely ignore your face that's popping on my mind.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Falling In and Out of Love
Recently, I no longer had the urge to write about random shallow things about romance. Perhaps the feelings that I have towards someone (if there is any) is not that intense to encourage me to sing happy songs, smile all day and give cheesy meanings to any statement or quotes that I read, hear or remembers.
To that guy who said that I am still a kid, I feel sorry that I did not get to write the mix of emotions that I have towards him. A lot of things are running in my mind over that 2 months. Yet, due to my uncertainty and my fears of falling for the wrong person, the wrong time and wrong reasons, my fingers were held tight from writing a blog.
Right now, all I can do is to reminisce how stupid I was. The logger-headed me got mesmerized by a guy opposite of my dreams. Haha! and the irony of it, that guy has been in my dreams for a number of nights. He is always the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last one to cross my mind before I close my eyes at night. He is the dude I long to talk to over the phone and receive text messages from. His coffee invitation makes me jump to excitement that I later ended to always initiate the meet up.
Mind you, I've already dreamed of him as my husband despite all our opposites... the age gap, and body built difference. Yet, I feel so comfortable being with him. All the shallow talks, foolish jokes and witty comments have compensated everything.
He also don't know how hard I tried not to let anybody know how I feel. I am not sure whether he has mentioned those dates that we had to anybody. But as for me, I was controlling myself so much from saying anything because I was afraid that I was just overanalyzing the things that he does and says.
By the way, I have another confession to make, I was rereading his old skype messages to me. I got to backread until November 2010. And it made me wonder, has he felt anything for me during that time? Haha! And one more thing, I also hate Facebook because it started saving chat conversations just recently. I can no longer read backread those Landi much chats with him. If these chat messages were still there, I've probably read them a hundred times.
Oh well, all I am just trying to say is that I fell in love with him. But now, I am not sure if I've already fallen out of love. Is it that fast or is it just his absence that makes me think that the feeling is gone?
To that guy who said that I am still a kid, I feel sorry that I did not get to write the mix of emotions that I have towards him. A lot of things are running in my mind over that 2 months. Yet, due to my uncertainty and my fears of falling for the wrong person, the wrong time and wrong reasons, my fingers were held tight from writing a blog.
Right now, all I can do is to reminisce how stupid I was. The logger-headed me got mesmerized by a guy opposite of my dreams. Haha! and the irony of it, that guy has been in my dreams for a number of nights. He is always the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last one to cross my mind before I close my eyes at night. He is the dude I long to talk to over the phone and receive text messages from. His coffee invitation makes me jump to excitement that I later ended to always initiate the meet up.
Mind you, I've already dreamed of him as my husband despite all our opposites... the age gap, and body built difference. Yet, I feel so comfortable being with him. All the shallow talks, foolish jokes and witty comments have compensated everything.
He also don't know how hard I tried not to let anybody know how I feel. I am not sure whether he has mentioned those dates that we had to anybody. But as for me, I was controlling myself so much from saying anything because I was afraid that I was just overanalyzing the things that he does and says.
By the way, I have another confession to make, I was rereading his old skype messages to me. I got to backread until November 2010. And it made me wonder, has he felt anything for me during that time? Haha! And one more thing, I also hate Facebook because it started saving chat conversations just recently. I can no longer read backread those Landi much chats with him. If these chat messages were still there, I've probably read them a hundred times.
Oh well, all I am just trying to say is that I fell in love with him. But now, I am not sure if I've already fallen out of love. Is it that fast or is it just his absence that makes me think that the feeling is gone?
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